Everyone is Pregnant

Did you ever enter a room, look around and notice that everyone is pregnant or holding a kid? It hit me this week as I participated in a brit milah; my husband and I were asked to carry in the baby for the ceremony - it was a decision we took some time making - our friends had the baby Saturday and they happen to be are only friends in our community who know about our struggles with infertility - Monday we learned that our IUI did not work - it was a rough day, wanting to be happy and excited for our closest friends, but knowing that you spent another month hoping, praying, waiting, examining your body to see if everything was changing, second guessing if you were feeling queasy because you were reading on the train or your hormones were acting up. That same day our mailbox yielded our Resolve magazine. One article in particular caught my attention - the author discussed the need for couples dealing with infertility to be open and honest about what we are going through - keeping it a secret alludes to a level of shame we attribute to what we are going through and this prevents us from receiving support and sensitivity from those around us. So we decided to take the plunge, we were going to carry the baby in, an honor generally reserved as a segulah for those having difficulty conceiving as a merit for them to have a child. We thought this might be a way to come out in the open, but not have to approach everyone and say, "hey, we are going through infertility treatment." Except it didn't work, those who caught on were so busy talking about their own pregnancies that they didn't even realize what had just happened. Plus, there were all the people who didn't even see. So instead we spent the weekend surrounding by bulging tummies and friends discussing their number of trips to the bathroom throughout the night and how much their belly moves. It really hit me over the weekend that almost everyone we know, all our friends and acquaintances are expecting or already have kids. Where does that leave us?