Shifting Roles

We generally become comfortable with our roles and prefer to stay in those roles, but sometimes we are looking for that shift, even though it might not be easy. This is a shift I've been waiting for - going from the infertile woman to the expecting mother-to-be. Its a role we've been spending our emotional strength, money and time working our way towards, and now that we are there how do we navigate. It is important to me that how I got to this point is a part of my identity, a part of who this baby will be. The excitement is there, but I know for many it is not there yet and I don't want to be the expecting mother who reminds them of that constantly. It is another balance I will work towards achieving in my life.

The Phone Call

It's the little things that change your life. Picking a college orientation date where you meet your future husband. Paying a dollar for some random numbers and winning the lottery (no that did not happen to us), or picking up your phone one day and hearing the words congratulations at the other end. Our last cycle led to these results and we are unbelievably joyful to announce the future birth of our first child. The name of this blog is The Empty Womb, and though I am privileged to have mine occupied for another 6, or so, months, the experiences that we have gone through will always be a part of us as we celebrate this milestone. We are extremely grateful for the support provided by family, friends and an amazing medical staff. Most importantly we thank Hashem for "remembering" us and continue to pray that all should be healthy.

Are we there yet?

The age old question that we would always ask our parents when traveling somewhere - Are we there yet? We were impatient, ready to get out of the car, plane or train, anxiously awaiting the next part of our adventure. We didn't comprehend how annoying this was to our parents, because all we knew, at that point, was we didn't want to be in our current location. With infertility you get to play the parent you dream of becoming. You are faced with various forms of the question are we there yet on a regular basis. The passed along comments - I'm surprised they don't have kids yet, haven't they been married long enough. The introductions - its just the two of them with a pause at the end, the general comments of everyone has a kid with the unspoken question why don't you. The hardest part is I'm sure I used to play this game also - the did you here who is pregnant know with the unspoken understanding that others are not, or wondering in surprise whether out-loud or silently what's the deal with this couple or that couple. We take for granted that our journeys will be short and always lead us directly to the great adventure at the end, whether it is a childhood trip to Disney or the welcoming of a baby in your family. However, for many, the road is much longer and fraught with so many more obstacles. We ask ourselves are we there yet and we are asked by others are you there yet. If only we could really see it through our parents eyes and recognize that they were making the best possible decisions they could to share with us a great adventure at the end. If we trusted them maybe our impatience would have been relieved, if we could see the road through there eyes, maybe we would have never questioned. We think we grow out of this habit, however, do we really? We might stop using the words are we there yet but we still look around and question other people's lives, question the road they are on, wondering when they might reach the end. We must strive to remember their road is different than ours, and just hope that everyone reaches there adventure.